


i have found my weakness in the shape of you

by dontletmedown



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (but not between Yuuri and Victor), Abusive Relationship, Angst, Chef Yuuri, Fluff, Love, M/M, Victor is such a hero, abusive langauge, ice skater!Yuuri, instructor!Victor, more tags will be added on because this will be a series of one shots after this main story), read the author's notes please! it's going to be fun!, soon enough, tagged explicit because there will be sexy times depending on what everyone sends in!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 08:59:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11711124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletmedown/pseuds/dontletmedown
Summary: When Victor moves into his new apartment, he wasn't expecting to really have any type of social life outside of work. He wasn't expecting to get involved at all, though he did long for someone to finally love and take care of.Of all the people he could've possibly fell for, it had to be the boy with the most broken smile. Too bad Victor didn't give up so easily.(Or the one where Yuuri has an asshole boyfriend and needs to just let go!)(This will be a series of one shots after the main story, read author's note at the bottom once you're done <3)





	i have found my weakness in the shape of you

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first EVER Yuri!!! On Ice fic and I am BEYOND excited!
> 
> I'm not new to writing fic at all, but this is my first ever fic that I plan on having as a long term thing full of your ideas, my ideas, and more! 
> 
> Read more at the Author's Notes at the end about this after you're done with this story. 
> 
> Just know that this is just the beginning my fellow Victuuri lovers <3 ;)

Moving is atrocious. Well, not really. But it kind of is when you have no one to help you move. Victor’s family wasn’t the happiest, or most supportive about his move to Japan in the little beach town that instantly called to his heart. It called to him not only because it wouldn’t be incredibly cold like he was used to in Russia (Russian winters were brutal), but because his new instructing job was here. He’d be a youth ice skating coach, ages six to eleven. He was pretty excited for all of those things, despite his family having completely different plans in mind. They wanted him to press on and on to win maybe just one more Grand Prix Final Gold and not retire so soon. But at the age of 29, he could honestly say he was done with professional skating. He wanted to coach. He felt like he had the patience and heart, and experience mind you, to do so. Plus, kids were his favorite!

 

The silver haired man dropped the last box into his new home and plopped down on his couch with a heavy breath, checking his phone immediately to see a text from his best friend Chris.

 

_Settled in yet silver fox? ;)_

 

Victor rolled his eyes at the horrible nickname and laughed as he tapped out a quick response. 

****

**_Just got the last box. No thanks to you buddy! >:/_ **

_Aw come on, you know I would’ve helped if I didn’t have this intense practice today._

_Don’t guilt me! I’ll be there in a couple of days with your doggo! :D_

 

Before Victor could even respond, he heard a loud slam outside and a heavy gasp, almost as if they were finally letting out a breath they’d been holding in for so long. Victor’s eyebrows knitted together and he stood up, walking through his dark living room and over towards the glass door. He could hear whimpers and cries coming from outside which only piqued the tall man’s interest even more. He slowly unlatched the door and slid it open, stepping outside onto his own balcony.

 

And that’s when he first saw him.

 

The boy was knelt over on the ground, shaking from silently crying. His black hair was covering his face, his glasses strewn on the ground next to him. Finally, he looked up and his eyes met Victor’s. The deep brown, red rimmed eyes looked deeply into Victor’s own blue ones, causing the older man’s breath to hitch. The boy was beautiful. His face looked incredibly kind, despite the pure terror and fear that he was currently expressing. Victor could see underneath it all. His skin was a smooth milky white and his body looked so vulnerable in that moment.

 

Victor finally snapped out of his thoughts and intense staring when the boy began to stand up slowly. He could see the boy shaking all the way from over here on his side. “Hi, I’m--.”

 

Before Victor could even finish, the boy was rushing back into the apartment and slamming the glass door shut. Victor dropped his hand that had been up to wave, and slowly placed it in the pocket of his sweatpants. He bit his lip and stared at the spot where the boy had just been standing for a short little while before finally venturing back inside of his place for the night to start unpacking his things, the boy never leaving his mind for the rest of the night.

 

 

About three days had gone by and Victor was fully done with his packing and Chris was finally over with Makkachin who greeted Victor with the biggest tackle and a ton of licks that had his face practically soaked. Victor of course fondly hugged the chocolate poodle, but needed help from Chris moments later to get back up having weakened his entire body from laughing too much. He gave his friend a hug and the two went on to watch some tv and drink a couple of beers before they decided to go out dancing at this new gay club Chris had apparently looked up on his plane ride here. Surprise Surprise.

 

The clubbing is nice and so are the extra fruity drinks that are deep in Victor’s system. But it still didn’t make it fun. As crazy as it sounded, Victor was a bit over the party scene. He came to Japan for a new direction in his life. More domesticity. He wanted to have a stable job now and meet someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Spoil, dote on, make sweet, wonderful fucking love to, and just relax and travel with to places where he could thoroughly enjoy and not have to think about practicing for a huge competition.

 

So, he was probably a bit of a downer on Chris’ mood for a short while, but it didn’t last too long when his friend was stumbling over to him to play matchmaker with some short boy who was fairly attractive. “This is Dylan,” Chris slurred. “He thinks you’re really cute. You should dance with him and let him hump your leg.” Dylan laughed loudly, a blush stretching across his face as he eyed Victor who was too drunk and depressed to really even protest to begin with.

 

Dylan was alright. He was cute. He had messy red hair and big brown eyes that had the man thinking about the boy next door to him on the balcony. He hadn’t seen, nor heard from him since his meltdown outside a couple of days ago. He was constantly on Victor’s mind though. Those big brown eyes and his round cheeks that Victor wouldn’t mind kissing and munching on.

 

He snapped himself out of his own deep thoughts when he felt a tug to his arm on his jacket. Dylan was giving him a flirtatious smile and that was enough to get Victor out of his mental funk. Why waste his time worrying about a complete stranger? That wasn’t how he normally acted anyway. He wouldn’t get all weird now.

 

Victor flashed a big smile to Dylan and let the boy drag him out onto the dancefloor and the retired skater was of course one of the best dancers out there along with Chris of course.

 

The rest of the night became a blur. He was smart enough to get them all an Uber back to his apartment and one thing led to another. Chris had some boy grinding and genuinely humping his leg and Victor and Dylan were having an intense makeout session right in front of the door. It took a drunken slap to the back of the head from Chris for Victor to get his shit together and use his key to let everyone all in. Chris was instantly stumbling and “bringing his catch” down the hall to the spare bedroom he was crashing in for the rest of his time here while Victor and Dylan were stumbling out onto the balcony.

 

There were drunken laughs and chuckles and messy, sloppy kisses as Victor was pushed onto the railing. He kept his arms loosely around Dylan’s waist as the boy was placing wet kisses onto his neck. Victor’s eyes slowly opened back up and they made their way over to the balcony next door since his body was facing directly towards it, and his eyes landed on the boy again who was on the balcony now wearing an oversized hoodie with a bowl in his hand, face still looking a bit downcast. But that was enough to have Victor instantly push Dylan off of him even in his drunken state and clear his throat. He could feel his own cheeks burning immensely.

 

“Whaaa?” Dylan whined causing Victor to finally tear his eyes away from the boy who was still staring at them, mostly at Victor, but occasionally looking at Dylan.

 

Victor looked down at Dylan who looked incredibly pissed off. “Whadya do that for eh?” he asked before he burped and the air between them was filled with the smell of margaritas and cigarettes. “Victoooooor. C’mon. I wanna feel that big cock of yours. I _know_ it’s big. I felt it when I wus grindin on yeh,” the boy slurred as he threw his arms around Victor’s neck and honestly a shrill panic was surging through the Russian man.

 

“Inside!” He shouted almost frantically, shoving Dylan back into his apartment and slamming the glass behind him. Now it was his turn to storm away back inside.  

 

 

 

Let’s just say the night ended just as you would have guessed. Victor pulling Dylan’s hair back as he violently vomited in his toilet and letting him sleep on the couch until the next morning where they shared embarrassed, awkward smiles before Dylan was leaving without another word or even a goodbye. It was safe to say that he would never see the redhead again and Victor was perfectly okay with that.

 

The man had a killer hangover this morning and he instantly regretted going out with Chris last night. He had to work this afternoon! He then shook his head even more because fuck, he really _was_ changing. There would be times where he would stay up drinking all night having work early the next morning and showing up still drunk and hungover ready to start the day. Now he genuinely felt bad for drinking too much before his first day. Maybe it was because he was actually dealing with innocent little kids who just want a good instructor to coach them. Not some irresponsible drunk!

 

Victor took his tea and groaned heavily as he shuffled outside. His hair was a mess and so was his face probably. He stood at his balcony taking small sips of his tea, watching the ocean below him before he heard the slide of the door next to him. He turned to look and the doe eyed boy was there, this time looking a bit brighter than he had looked last night and before. He had earphones in and he was holding a mug in his hand as well as an old textbook. He sat down and pulled out his phone to adjust something with it before his eyes looked up and landed on Victor who was already staring.

 

Victor wasn’t much for shyness or insecurities for that matter, so he didn’t look away when the boy looked up and he was able to notice the blush that stretched across his face. Victor tilted his head to the side, causing the silver fringe on his forehead to fall over his icy blue eyes. He gave the boy a tired, but sweet smile and the dark-haired boy slowly smiled back. That only caused Victor to smile even bigger and he walked over to the side of his balcony that was closest to his neighbor and leaned against the railing.

 

“Hi!” He said fondly. “I’m Victor. Your new neighbor.”

 

The boy blinked before scrambling to turn his music off and he yanked his headphones out. “I’m Yuuri…” He said, the boy’s voice sounding incredibly smooth, but also a bit small. Victor instantly found the boy adorable without a doubt. And really… pretty. But that was another story. Maybe? If the boy wasn’t straight and single, then he’d definitely take a chance.

 

“I just moved here Friday from Russia. I don’t really know anyone Yuuri. What’s it like here?” He went on, instantly getting comfortable and overzealous with his small talk.

 

Yuuri smiled softly and fiddled with the cords of his earphones before nibbling on his bottom lip. He pushed his glasses up his nose before speaking. “Well… um. It’s really calm… relaxing most days if that’s what you’re looking for. But there’s also a fun party scene if that’s your thing too…” He trailed off, stammering a bit as he looked over towards the glass into his apartment before looking back at Victor.

 

Victor hummed and took a sip of his tea before shrugging. “I won’t be partying much because I’m a coach and all. I have to stay very focused for the kids,” he went on, only really saying that as an excuse to show off the fact that he was going to be showing his ice skating skills to a younger generation of Grand Prix Final hopefuls.

 

Yuuri sat up a bit more, a genuine smile stretching across his face. “Y-You’re a coach? You ice skate?” He asked, sounding a bit more excited by the second.

Victor beamed and sat his mug down on the little table he had put outside. “Yes! In fact I was in the Grand Prix Finals nearly ten times! I’ve been skating for so long. Have you ever watched them on tv? You might have seen me,” he went on with a smug smirk because he couldn’t help bragging about himself a tiny bit.

 

Yuuri frowned and slowly shook his head. “No… I don’t... I don’t think so,” he said before immediately adding, “But that’s because I can’t—er I don’t watch tv. I don’t really watch it. I haven’t seen the Grand Prix Finals in a couple of years. You kind of look like a skater I used to love when I was younger, but he had longer hair. Much longer.”

 

Victor smiled and outstretched his hands. “Pretty sure that was me. I used to have long hair while I skated a couple of years back. Don’t think any other skater at the finals ever had silver hair.”

 

Yuuri’s eyes widened and he abruptly dropped his things on the floor as he stood up and practically ran to his side of the balcony that was closer to Victor. “You’re Victor Nikiforov?!” He practically screamed, and the look on his face was priceless. It almost had Victor’s heart soaring from how adorable Yuuri looked. Like a little kid in a candy store, or a kid learning that they were getting their favorite toy after all. But then it instantly fell and was replaced with sheer disappointment and sadness. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize…” He began to pace around the balcony almost frantically as he ran his fingers through his hair before hugging himself. “I told myself if I ever met him in my life I would always know… How did I not know?!” He went on mumbling to himself but clearly loud enough for Victor to hear.

 

Victor laughed and shook his head. “Yuuri, it’s okay! I’m retired now so it’s not like I’ll be going anywhere so—.”

 

“YOU’RE RETIRED?!” He screamed yet again and this time, he had practical tears running down his face which had the man’s eyes nearly popping out of his head because he hadn’t meant to make the boy upset. He was just trying to make things better and make him feel less bad.

 

“Hey, it’s alright Yuuri. I’m here now—.”

 

“No! You don’t understand. I missed out. I missed everything! You don’t--. You don’t get it,” Yuuri cried before taking his things and rushing back inside again as he wiped his eyes and slammed his sliding glass door shut behind him.

 

Victor stared at the spot the boy had just been in, mouth hanging open wide. A literal rollercoaster. It went from pure joy to absolute shit in a matter of short minutes. He stood a bit longer to wait and see if Yuuri would come back out, but he never did and soon enough his own door was opening and Chris was standing there in nothing but tight black silk boxers and a silk red robe to match.

 

“Where’s breakfast?”

 

 

The next few days are very hectic. Victor coached his first class of older ten and eleven year olds, and soon his schedule was branching out for coaching in early mornings and afternoons and some evenings. He was just that good. Many demanded more hours and he had nothing else to do, so he easily obliged. This job allowed him to set his own hours and he took as much as he could. It was good for fixing his lonely heart. Chris was long gone back home and Makkachin was a very loveable baby and companion that was the best company, but Victor still ached for something more. Something intimate. He had a hard time finding it though, so working was his only way to distract him from those sad, lonely times. It also helped him worry less about Yuuri who he had been concerned about since hee frantically ran back inside yet again away from Victor.

 

Currently, Victor was sitting on the balcony watching the sunset and typing an email on his laptop when the door opened again and Yuuri was stumbling out nursing a bag of frozen peas over an eye. Victor’s eyes widened as he watched the boy plop down on the seat and rub his other eye, sniffling just a little. “Ouch, what happened?” He called out, closing his laptop to give Yuuri his full attention. He’d learned that seeing Yuuri was officially like seeing a shooting star. You had to breathe in the moment, not take advantage of it, and give it your undivided attention.

 

Yuuri looked at Victor with his good eye and shook his head. “N-Nothing. I just messed up dinner today. Um, I tripped and hit my face while cooking,” he went on, voice shaking as he held the bag of frozen vegetables onto his eye.

 

Victor frowned immediately, not entirely buying the boy’s story. But this was none of his business, so he didn’t press on. “I have stuff to take care of injuries like that. You should come over and I’ll give you some helpful ointment and a real pack for your eye.”

 

“No!” Yuuri instantly said flailing his arm in disagreement. “I’m perfectly fine. It was just an accident. My… Kiyoshi is taking care of me,” he said firmly before looking a bit anxious after he said the name.

 

Victor raised an eyebrow. “Kiyoshi? Is that your…?” He trailed off attempting to press on about this at least. Hey, it didn’t hurt to see if Yuuri was single or not!

 

Yuuri looked into the apartment anxiously, looking as if he was about to go again. Surprisingly, he sat still for a few more moments, simply chewing on his lip before looking back at Victor with his good eye again. “Boyfriend,” he quickly said before he flinched for a split second, so fast and easy to miss if you weren’t staring at him intensely like Victor found himself doing every time Yuuri was around.

 

Victor slowly blinked. “Oh… Boyfriend?” He asked, sounding a bit skeptical which went completely unnoticed by Yuuri who was standing up abruptly again. “Leaving so soon?” he then asked.

 

“I have to go try dinner again. Everything is fine now, so I can go try to make it again and it’ll be better. Goodbye Victor,” Yuuri said with a rushed half wave before he went back inside again. And of course, he was back to square one. Alone outside on the balcony and very confused.  

 

 

There was a crash. It woke him up out his sleep and even Makkachin who whined and whimpered. The two looked at each other before there was a shout and soon a door slamming extra hard. Victor turned his lamp on and pressed his ear to the wall next to him. The apartments were nice, but the walls weren’t that thick to begin with so you could sometimes hear more than they let on in the ads. He listened carefully and he could hear soft crying and he knew for a fact it was Yuuri. He felt himself frowning as he gripped the sheets beneath him and continued to listen as the door slammed again and he could hear heavy footsteps.

 

“There can’t be any excuse for this. There’s not a single reason why you can’t make a decent meal for me! Are you stupid? Can you not read a fucking recipe?” A voice hastily shouted, full of nothing but poison and venom.

 

“I’m trying! I really am Kiyoshi. It’s hard to cook when our appliances are barely working. You said you’d pay for everything to be restored. You said--.”

 

“I KNOW WHAT I SAID!” The man interrupted. “How dare you critique my words when you told me when we met that you were learning to cook and you had a passion for cooking? Where did those words go? All you do is make bullshit and pretend you’re so lost when I ask you to make a simple new meal. How am I supposed to bring back the money if you can’t even feed me? You don’t do anything else but stay in this apartment. You have plenty of time to learn how to cook a decent meal you idiot!”

 

At this point Victor’s blood was nearly boiling. He may not know Yuuri well, but he knew that the man did not deserve the treatment he was receiving at all. This was downright abusive and Victor almost had the mind to rip his covers off and intervene. But he didn’t know how crazy or violent Kiyoshi might be. He didn’t want to start something that could possibly result in a catastrophe. So, he waited. Angrily waited all night until he couldn’t wait anymore and was falling back into an uncomfortable sleep.

 

The next morning, he woke up and wasted no time showering and making himself a quick breakfast since it was a Saturday and he could relax. He immediately went out to the balcony and Yuuri was there already with a new textbook in his hand and a fresh bruise on his cheek. Victor gritted his teeth as he sat his mug down and plopped down in his seat beside it, trying to contain whatever accusatory words that were ready to drip from his lips.

 

Instead he cleared his throat and gave Yuuri a warm smile. “Hello Yuuri! How are you today?” He kicked his longs legs up that were exposed due to the tiny Nike running shorts he had on and folded his arms behind his head.

 

Yuuri looked over towards Victor and gave him a soft smile pushing his glasses up his nose. “I’m quite well Victor. I got a new book so I’m learning how to make these French pastries that my… boyfriend likes,” he went on as he closed the book face down in his lap and turned to give Victor his attention as well.

 

“I can tell your boyfriend really loves a correct meal,” Victor heard himself blurt out which caused him to sit up a bit straighter and Yuuri’s mouth to fall open and his face to immediately flush red.

 

“You heard that?” He softly asked as he pulled his knees up to his chest anxiously and he looked away, embarrassed? Ashamed? Victor couldn’t tell.

 

Victor nodded quietly before realizing that Yuuri wasn’t even looking at him so he spoke up. “Why is he so angry about food? Did he hit you because of yesterday’s meal? You said you had a hard time making it--.”

 

“He didn’t _hit_ me Victor!” Yuuri interrupted looking at Victor a bit too intensely for the man’s liking. “I fell again because I was trying to… uh, I was trying to take out the trash last night and it was really dark. I fell outside.”

 

Victor’s face fell flat and he shook his head. “I don’t believe you Yuuri,” he simply said.

 

Yuuri’s mouth was opening and closing again, surprised. No one has ever said that to him. No one has ever looked so concerned and pried this much into his personal life ever since he moved away from his parents’ home to be with Kiyoshi. Granted, he never knew anyone else here in town besides Kiyoshi before Victor, so there was that. Victor’s assertive and incredibly bold personality was catching him off guard and it was causing him to malfunction just a bit internally, anxiety practically shooting through the roof.

 

He felt his body shaking and tears well up in his eyes again before he looked up at Victor who was still staring at him, waiting. Waiting for Yuuri to rebuttal.

 

“He’s the only one I know,” Yuuri finally answered, purposely not being entirely clear.

 

Victor cocked his head to the side curiously. “What do you mean?” It was obvious the silver haired man wasn’t going to let up. He looked comfortable in his seat as he waited for more details.

 

“My family, they... they don’t know where I am because I fled to live with him because I thought it was best. I couldn’t stop disappointing them with dumb mistakes and being too timid to do anything and Kiyoshi made me feel like I was brave. Or at least tricked me to believe I was,” he mumbled on, just talking. Talking because he’d never talked to anyone about this _ever_. Not even his old best friend Phichit who he had never seen since he fled away. He lost all ties to his old life and he thought it was for the better, but he was feeling more alone than ever before. Even before he felt like he was causing too many mistakes and holding himself back too much because of his anxiety and self-doubt.

 

Victor frowned and rested his arms on the railing of the balcony, giving Yuuri a concerned look. “Is he holding you hostage?”

 

Yuuri gasped and he stood up abruptly waving his arms defensively. “No! No he’s not. Please don’t call the police on him Victor. Please,” he practically begged. “He’s – he’s all I have. You can’t let them take him. I’m strong. I can handle this. I’ll tell him to be quiet tonight and forever so he won’t wake you up again okay? Just don’t call the police on him. I won’t have anywhere to go. Please.” Yuuri was crying all over again, rubbing at his eyes and looking at Victor pleadingly.

 

Victor felt his heart ache tremendously for the boy and he almost had the heart to instantly tell the boy that he could come here but he stopped himself immediately. He didn’t want to freak Yuuri out. They barely knew each other, and although Victor never could get the boy out of his head ever since their eyes first met, it still wasn’t right to just offer. Was it? He didn’t understand their situation and he didn’t want to intrude. But he also didn’t want to wait too late to do something.

 

“If you ever need an escape or need to finally let go, there is a key under my mat I keep for emergencies if I forget my own,” he told Yuuri before finally standing up and taking his tea to go back inside.

 

“I won’t be needing it,” Yuuri immediately shot back, just to assure the man that he was fine and would always be fine. He felt stupid for even telling Victor any of his story. He felt extra vulnerable now and it had him getting up as well and heading back inside. Too anxious to be out in the open.

 

A few days had past and it was obvious that Yuuri kept his end of the bargain Victor never asked for. It was quiet at night from now on and Yuuri even seemed more cheerful whenever he came out the balcony to speak to Victor. They got to know each other a lot better and Victor learned that Yuuri was from Hasetsu and how his family owned a Hot Spring and inn there and how he used to be in a University studying culinary arts before he dropped out to move away with Kiyoshi after he failed another cooking exam. Kiyoshi apparently had been his only escape (or at least that was what he had brainwashed Yuuri into believing) and they were living together for over three years now.

 

Victor told Yuuri a bit about his life and how he might have disappointed his family as well, but he made the effort to tell Yuuri that they still loved him no matter what and that he hoped Yuuri knew that his own family probably felt the same. Which of course ended off with Yuuri blushing and shaking his head, completely dismissing that notion altogether.

 

“Why are you so hard on yourself Yuuri?” Victor finally asked as they looked up at the stars above them, enjoying the way they twinkled so brightly tonight.

 

Yuuri sighed and watched Victor calmly rub Makkachin’s head before looking back up at him. “I guess I let my anxiety get the better of me. I wish I knew how to turn it off, but I know it’s impossible. Cooking used to be what made things better and ice skating, but Kiyoshi says that I only need to focus on one thing so I won’t fuck it up. So I quit skating and focused on cooking, but now I’m even getting bad at that.” Yuuri looked over at Victor who was staring at Yuuri before he gave the boy a sweet smile that sent shivers down his spine.

 

“Come over and make something for me!” Victor eagerly suggested as he stood up and gave Yuuri an even bigger smile.

 

“Oh no, Victor! I can’t. I can’t leave. I’m not supposed—I can’t,” Yuuri stammered.

 

“Oh come on Yuuri. It’ll be fast. You can make your most favorite meal ever and we can eat it together and you can get an opinion from someone else other than Kiyoshi,” Victor suggested, having to stop himself from calling the man something incredibly different and harsher than his actual name.

 

Yuuri tugged on the sleeve of his oversized sweater and looked around anxiously before sighing. “Fine. I’ll be over in ten minutes with supplies,” he finally answered.

 

“Yay!” Victor excitedly cheered like a little kid, which caused Yuuri to laugh fondly, a grin stretching from ear to ear.

 

Victor rushed back inside to go clean up a bit, give Makkachin a pep talk on being nice to strangers and not attacking Yuuri, and even changing his shirt and fixing his hair a bit. This wasn’t a date or anything. Nope, far from it. But he still wanted to look a bit nice for Yuuri because he deserved it. Plus, he was incredibly cute and Victor couldn’t help but to be a tiny bit self-conscious on his own appearance. He wanted to appear attractive to Yuuri. A shameless feeling.

 

Soon there was a gentle knock on the door and Victor was rushing over frantically nearly tripping over Makkachin who was eagerly barking at the door. Victor adjusted his black t shirt before flinging the front door open with the biggest smile on his face. “Yuuri!” He said a bit too eagerly.

 

Yuuri was stood at the door, round cheeks and all as he was holding a big paper bag full of groceries and such for the meal he was about to prepare. Victor stepped aside to let the boy come in before taking his things and carrying them to the kitchen for him. “Hi Victor,” Yuuri shyly said as he kicked his shoes off and set them over at the little area where all of the shoes went. He walked into the apartment and looked around before being attacked by Makkachin who instantly caused the dark-haired boy to laugh fondly as he fell to the ground.

 

Victor watched the event unfold as his dog licked Yuuri’s face all over, giving him tons of wet kisses and nuzzles that Yuuri happily accepted. He hugged the dog closely before his eyes met Victor and he blushed immensely before stopping and sitting up. He adjusted his glasses and quickly stood. “Sorry…” He mumbled, causing Victor to immediately shake his head.

 

“Don’t apologize! Makkachin likes you! That means you’re a keeper,” Victor said as he threw an arm around Yuuri and hugged him tightly. He felt Yuuri stiffen only for a split second, but he relaxed seconds later and hugged Victor back. Their hug lasted much longer than really necessary and Victor’s hands shouldn’t have clung so tightly on the boy’s hips and Yuuri definitely had no business burying his face into Victor’s chest and inhaling his warm scent but he was doing it anyway.

 

Soon though, Yuuri pulled away after coming back to his senses and even Victor was blushing, mumbling incoherent words under his breath before Yuuri clapped his hands together. “Alright! Today I am going to be making Katusdon! My very favorite. I miss my mother’s Katsudon, but I can make a good enough recipe to sort of replicate it,” Yuuri continued on as he instantly went into the kitchen, getting used to his surroundings quite quickly and making the area his own.

 

Victor went over to the bar and sat in one of the stools as he eyed Yuuri with nothing but pure joy in his blue eyes. Victor wasn’t an awful cook, but he definitely didn’t find anything fun about cooking. He could tell Yuuri really liked it from the way he was talking about each ingredient out loud and eagerly skipped around the kitchen as he got accustomed to where everything was located in the cabinets and pantry.

 

“I just love Katsudon so much Victor. It brings out the best in me,” Yuuri laughed which instantly had Victor laughing as well.

 

“Alright, from now on I’m calling you my little Katsudon then if it’s what makes you really happy because I love seeing you happy,” Victor said as Yuuri turned around to face him. Yuuri had a soft smile on his face as he held one of the large silver stirring spoons in his hand. The two stared at each other smiling for the longest before Yuuri gasped and turned back around.

 

“I can’t burn anything! No no no!” He squealed as Victor chuckled and went around the bar to step into the kitchen. He hovered over Yuuri to watch him make the food, the smell of the pork cutlets and eggs and rice filling the entire apartment. It even had Makkachin salivating a little in the living room.

 

Yuuri spun around when he felt Victor press his chest into his back and gave him a squinty eyed look. “This area is only for the cooks,” he said with a little pout that Victor instantly wanted to kiss off of his face. “Go sit back down Victor,” Yuuri then whined.

 

“I just want to see how my little Katsudon was doing. I have to be aware of what I am about to consume and if it’s going to be fully edible,” Victor teased as he folded his arms across his muscular chest.

 

“If you don’t sit back down I’m going to put a full bottle of Siracha sauce in your bowl. I saw some in the cabinet! I’m not afraid to use it!” Yuuri threatened which caused Victor to raise his hands up in defense.

 

“Alright, fine fine!” He said before tugging his phone out and snapping a quick picture of Yuuri just because he could. He avoided a smack on the arm from the boy as he skipped out the kitchen with a fond chuckle. He sat back down and admired the picture a little while. Yuuri’s hair fell over his eyes and he had a very focused look on his face. His round cheeks were just there waiting to be kissed and munched on by Victor himself and his lips were puckered out and those too were honestly another place that Victor wouldn’t mind kissing.

 

But of course he wasn’t a man to wreck any home, no matter how toxic it may seem. He wouldn’t do that to Yuuri. At least he wouldn’t make the first move if it was uncalled for.

 

Soon enough the meal was completely finished and two steaming bowls of Katsudon was in between the two at the round kitchen table. They sat across from each other with their chopsticks and Yuuri looked at Victor expectantly, waiting for him to take the first bite. Victor looked at the neat design of the bowl and clasped his hands together.

 

“Wow! Amazing,” he exclaimed, licking lips as he simply admired the look of the food.

 

“How about actually trying it now?” Yuuri asked sarcastically, but the obvious nervousness was written all over his face, and from the way he was nibbling on his fingertips anxiously.

 

Victor grinned and scooped his first helping into his mouth and his head nearly skyrocketed through his ceiling. “THIS IS INCREDIBLE!” He shouted bouncing in his seat before basically devouring his meal all in one go. He didn’t even let up to look at Yuuri until he was fully done. Yuuri simply laughed and took good, healthy, and none life-threatening bites.

 

As soon as Victor was finished, he pushed himself a little further from the table so he could stretch out a bit. “Yuuri this was so good. I love you for this. I love you forever,” he murmured with a warm smile, in a daze really as if he was drunk off Katsudon, probably because he ate way too quickly.

 

Yuuri giggled behind his hand and shook his head. “Victor, you know I didn’t make enough for seconds. You should have savored the moment with thoughtful, slower bites.”

 

“It’s savoring in my stomach Yuuri. That’s good enough.”

 

 

“Have you ever tried Katusdon, Chris?”

 

“Katsu-what?”

 

“It’s a pork cutlet bowl. Also what I call Yuuri--.”

 

“Oooh, Yuuri? Are you still pining over the boy next door that you can’t have?” Chris asked through the phone as he was stretching for practice.

 

Victor had his friend on speakerphone about three days later as he was lifting some dumbbells casually in his living room to work on his arms. “I’m not pining,” he simply stated.

 

“Yes. Yes you are. But the saddest thing is that you’re Victor Nikiforov. You could have anyone you want… Why him? Someone who is emotionally unavailable and in a relationship that doesn’t involve you. Doesn’t add up.”

 

Victor rolled his eyes and grunted as he switched arms for lifting. “It doesn’t have to add up because you’re not the one with the crush--. I mean, what. Not a crush. I never said that. Delete that out of your mind. Actually, delete my phone number. This never happened,” he began to stammer.

 

Chris was practically cackling on the other end of the line. “You’re a goner. Yuuri’s got you entangled in his web and he didn’t even have to do anything but exist. You’re sad. You’re very--.”

 

Victor’s attention instantly snapped away from his phone when he heard the door to his apartment open and saw a very bloody faced Yuuri come stumbling inside, slamming the door behind him. “I have to go,” he instantly told Chris before hanging up and putting his phone on airplane mode seconds later for no interruptions. He shot up and rushed over to Yuuri immediately who was bawling on the floor, not even acknowledging Makkachin who was whimpering and sniffing Yuuri’s hair to get his attention.

 

“Yuuri…” Victor trailed off as he scooped the smaller of the two up so he could see the damage clearly.

 

Yuuri’s right eye was totally purple and swollen shut and his nose was bleeding, but it didn’t look crooked or broken. He had a number of bruises on his cheek and arms and Victor felt like he was on the verge of vomiting. Not at Yuuri’s appearance, but the circumstance. He was so angry and it clearly showed because moments later Yuuri was grabbing Victor’s face in both of his hands. “You will _not_ go over there okay? Do not go over there. Don’t do anything,” he said, voice cracking, and sounding more like a croak as if his throat was even injured. That caused Victor’s eyes to look down and see hand marks on his throat and he let out a sharp breath through his nose. “PROMISE ME VICTOR! DON’T GO,” he half shouted this time, his voice cracking even more.

 

Victor felt his jaw clench but he dropped his forehead against Yuuri’s in defeat and let out a heavy breath. “I… I promise. I won’t go there,” he whispered before taking Yuuri’s hands in his own and holding them to his own chest. “Yuuri… these past few months have been so hard you know? It’s so hard talking to you and learning so much about you and… falling for you knowing that this is going on. It’s so fucking hard.” He averted his eyes to anywhere but Yuuri’s, too fearful of how Yuuri would react to him finally admitting these feelings.

 

“F-Falling for me?” He heard the boy ask, barely over a whisper.

 

Victor harshly laughed and looked away. “Terrible, right? I fell for someone who is emotionally unavailable, and in a relationship that doesn’t involve me,” he spat, quoting his best friend’s words. He shook his head and stood up, tugging Yuuri with him. “C’mon. Let’s get you cleaned up okay? We need to do something to these cuts and bruises before they get infected. And I’ll put a real pack on your eye.”

 

“Victor…?” Yuuri trailed off completely staying in his spot, even with Victor walking towards his bedroom thinking that Yuuri would follow.

 

Victor kept his back to Yuuri, his head resting against his closed door. Too ashamed and scared after admitting his feelings. How dare he mention something like that when Yuuri was going through so much? Yuuri didn’t need another man throwing another curveball at him after the one he was just tossed not even an hour ago. How dare he just drop that bomb on him? How selfish--.

 

“Victor,” Yuuri them firmly stated, snapping the silver haired man out of his thoughts.

 

“What, Yuuri?” Victor asked, letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, fist clenched against his door.

 

“I was never emotionally unavailable. I was _always_ available to you… In my mind… My heart,” Yuuri trailed off, body shaking as he was admitting his own feelings to the man. He sucked at talking about himself, but being with Victor made him want to speak more. Express himself more. Maybe because Victor never looked at him like he was a disappointment. He never spoke to Yuuri like he was some child who could never get things right. He viewed Yuuri as someone who was deserving of respect and deserving of undivided attention. It made Yuuri want to expand and speak up. So he would. That’s why he was here. Not just because of his aching, outer appearance, but his aching soul and heart that longed for Victor more than anyone ever before. He wanted to talk to Victor all day and all night. He wanted to feel Victor close to his body again for more hugs and safe, tender touches that made him feel warm instead of pure disgust and detachment. He wanted Victor to kiss his scars and bruises and assure him he was okay. He wanted to finally be praised instead of constantly insulted. He wanted to be looked at with an open mind instead of pure judgement because that was what he had always feared if he ever decided to run away from Kiyoshi, pure judgement from his family for making the dumb decision to run away with someone that was supposed to have loved him.

 

Victor was that person. At least that was what his heart was telling him and so was his soul. He hadn’t listened to those parts of himself in a very long time.

 

Yuuri cautiously took a step forward towards Victor and placed his hand on his shoulder. “You told me I could come here if I ever let go. I’m letting go Victor. Please don’t let _me_ go,” he then said, feeling his eyes well up with tears.

 

Victor finally turned around to look at Yuuri, tears running down his cheeks, but a full smile adorning his face. “Never,” he said before tugging Yuuri into a desperate kiss, pressing his lips firmly against the boy’s. Yuuri froze only for a split second, but wasted no time in kissing Victor back. Despite his bruises and despite his cuts, he felt no type of pain or hurt in that moment. There was nothing but pleasurable, happy, warm feelings surging through his body as he threw his arms around Victor’s neck and pressed his body even further into his to deepen the kiss. Their tongues wasted no time in colliding against each other, Victor’s hands rubbing down the curve of Yuuri’s hips, sighs of pure contentment filling the air.

 

When they finally pulled away, the two were smiling like they were fully in love and the only two souls in the world. Of course it was too soon to call it a love, but it was definitely not too far from it either.

 

*Eight Months Later*

 

“I cannot believe you!”

“What? I told you, skating was a hobby of mine!”

 

“A hobby?! You call this just a hobby? You’re amazing!” Victor exclaimed as the two skated circles around each other in the rink where Victor instructed at.

 

The past few months were very hectic with Victor finding a whole new place for himself to live at considering he was having Yuuri stay with him. There was no way they would continue living next door to Kiyoshi who was Yuuri’s abuser for so long. Yuuri was still on the fence about pressing charges or facing his past because he was too scared to see Kiyoshi again after he had fled without any kind of warning that night many months ago. He had managed to get a lot of his things while Kiyoshi was gone, having Victor guard the door of Yuuri’s old apartment in case the man came back at any moment.

 

They were now living in a little beach side cottage that Victor found really by good luck and chance. It was perfect for them and Makkachin and the perfect place for Yuuri to start over. They were taking their relationship slow, but not slow enough that they weren’t stealing kisses from each other and having intense makeout sessions in front of the fireplace some cozy nights. At some point, Yuuri did get comfortable enough to let Victor take care of him in bed with just a few heartfelt blow jobs and smooth, very experienced fingering that had Yuuri more than happy to scream out loud in pleasure since their cottage was quite tucked away from others. And although Yuuri insisted on returning Victor the favor, the older man wanted Yuuri to totally be ready and not feel like he owed Victor anything. He wasn’t Kiyoshi and never would be. He wanted Yuuri to do things he genuinely wanted to do and enjoy. And that’s what brought him back to ice skating many months later. He was finally allowing himself to enjoy that again without the harsh anxiety or intrusive thoughts of guilt following him.

 

“You’re a natural Yuuri. How good were you before you stopped?” Victor curiously asked as he took Yuuri’s hand and spun him around, causing the shorter man to blush. He turned to kiss Victor gently on the lips before skating away quickly and doing a couple of spins.

 

“Good enough to realistically work towards going to the Grand Prix Final. I mean, I still had my anxious moments that held me back sometimes, but I was still good,” Yuuri explained which made Victor smile. He loved seeing Yuuri talk so highly of himself. He treasured moments like these.

 

They skated for a little while longer in the deserted rink before Victor fell out on his back in the middle of the ice. When Yuuri was close enough, he reached up and tugged him down, causing Yuuri to yelp and fall on top of Victor with an ‘oof’ to follow. “Why do you enjoy manhandling me so much?” Yuuri asked with a playful pout as he looked down at Victor.

 

“I wouldn’t call it manhandling. I say it’s my way of constantly reassuring myself that you won’t run off and leave me. Even when you go too far I can always find a way to tug you back,” he said with a little playful grin, of course not entirely too serious.

 

Yuuri gave Victor a playful smirk in return. “It sounds like someone’s obsessed with me. I can’t help that I’m so desirable,” he said before flicking his imaginary long hair with a sweet smile.

 

Victor chuckled and cupped Yuuri’s face in both of his hands, his heart soaring with Yuuri’s new inkling of confidence.

 

“That you are,” he simply said before pulling Yuuri down for a firm kiss, their hands soon lacing together and holding on to each other, both set on never letting go.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again *waves*
> 
> As you know, their story isn’t over yet! I want you all to get as involved as possible!!!  
> Send me all of your one shot ideas and scenarios you would like to happen between these two love birds. It can be a smut idea with many kinks or as little kinks or as vanilla you want! Or something extra fluffy and cute for them to experience. It can be something related to Yuuri’s storyline and his personal issues (I left a lot of his story open/unsaid specifically for that reason!), or just something completely random that you want them to experience together in this AU I have created for them. Even some angst, but nothing with abuse between Yuuri and Victor or cheating. Mama don’t like that. 
> 
> Message me on tumblr at mylovefillednights. I’m literally never posting so if it says I haven’t posted in 200 years that is very true. I’ll answer my messages though so no worries! 
> 
> I’m so happy to finally be writing a Victuuri story and I’m hoping to make this super long with many parts and chapters with just different events that happen in their life. I’ll contribute my own ideas and you all can send what you would like to happen as well. This is a relaxing thing that I want to continue working on through school as an escape so please just send me stuff and if you would like to stay very anonymous, you can! It doesn’t matter to me! 
> 
> Just message me at mylovefillednights on tumblr or leave an idea in the comments! (I prefer the tumblr messages though :) )
> 
> mylovefillednights.tumblr.com/ask


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